Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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