Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
