I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
