I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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