Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
