i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
