bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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