hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
