In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
