i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
