Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
