I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i now understand why vodka
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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