discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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