I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
