wanna go halves on a baby?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
