I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
