somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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