And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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