Whod you bang
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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