yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
