and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
