Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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