My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he fucked my hip out of place.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
