$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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