what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
