i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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