I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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