idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
