Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
