A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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