dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I understand Curling. That high.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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