ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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