Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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