I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
