In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
