Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
