so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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