Dual....:-)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
