I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pants 0. Shit 1.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
