In the future we'll all be gay
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
