I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
