he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
