I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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