Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
