Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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