i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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