i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
