we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I have post one night stand depression
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
