You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
