I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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